is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
