He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
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Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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