Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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