So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
