The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
