I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
