I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
