So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
