I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
