Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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