Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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