Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
