You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
