Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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