is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Everything about him screamed your future.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
