The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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