Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
