She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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