PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
