Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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