just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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