ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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