i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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