does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
