Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize