Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
