WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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