now i know why i became what i already was.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
