in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
