how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
