so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
