Is it because I queefed?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
