It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
