I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
