what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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