hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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