two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
