I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
