I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
