Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
