My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
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