I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
