Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
