So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize