Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
