'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
