Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
