I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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