Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
