i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All the doctor said was why
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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