I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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