It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
