I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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