so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
