hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
