I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
