either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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