I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
