i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
