I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
