just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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