Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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