forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
