Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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