Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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